So I didn't stop talking about it, at least for a minute

I knew there was one thing I forgot to put in my last rant about "relations." So what if your two year old yells the anatomically correct names for the parts in public. If you react, they'll keep doing it. Haven't you learned that yet? You should be proud you have such a smart child that knows how to appropriately use those words. Besides, we all know what they are saying, even if they use the stupid made up names. It all depends on how you react. No I am done.... really.

Sex

There's a blog title that will get some attention. Sorry, to all those that were looking for adult content, but I have none. I have recently read a blog post that asked the question on how to teach your children about theirs and other's parts. Out of respect for my readers and a desire not to seem too coarse or provocative, that combined with a desire to show how really silly it is to skirt the issue (pun blatantly intended), I will not refer to those specific parts by name. That and I'm not sure I want this post coming up on any google searches for any pornographic material. Besides, You all know what they are.

So the here's the basic story. Two year old girl walks in and sees daddy and has questions about the differences in equipment. Now Mom blogs that she has no idea how to handle this. Why all the fuss? It's just body parts. As fully functioning, hormonally driven, sexually mature adults, our minds go completely to sex, (Ooops, I meant "relations"). We independently think that any comment about said "parts" by small children are an immediate references to said "relations" or "relations" related issues.

I hate to burst the parents' bubble and inform them that, your child has no idea what "relations" are and really no hormonal desire to participate in said "relations." It is simply a question to gain information, and not even one to ask about relations. It is not even in their realm of understanding. At two, they aren't even going to have a surge of hormones that make them want to "have relations" for at least a decade. What's the big deal?

Now repeat with me, "This is the part boys have and this is the part girls have." Trust me, 90% of two year old children will not ask any further questions. Most of them don't have brains that have entered the "why" stage yet. If they are three and ask you "Why?" like any good three year old would. Then you answer, "Because that is the way God (Insert Allah, Mother Nature, the Universe or whatever higher power you happen to believe in) made them." Then, when the three year old asks "Why did they make them that way?" (because many three year olds have entered the "why?" stage and will ask endlessly), you say, "Not sure, why don't you ask them?" You kill two birds with one stone. You answer their question and help put them in touch with their higher power. You don't need to launch into a discussion about "relations."

My 2 year old has recently started to draw "happy men." Now get your minds out of the gutter. That is what he calls smiley faces. He came up with it not us, not sure where he got it. He likes his to be a little more intricate than most and will tell you to draw the eyes, eye brows, lashes, ears, hair, toes, hands, body and just recently their pee-pee. Now he is getting ready to potty train, this is an important body part for him. We made the decision that we really don't want him to be drawing them all over the place so we say, "We don't draw those." and not, "It's bad to draw those." We don't want to give him a complex nor do we want him going on to produce provocative anime (sorry, this blog program doesn't let me put the little accent above the "e" very easily.) Then we go on and draw the other parts that we do draw, without bringing much attention to the whole thing.

To sum up, it is totally normal for a child to ask about his/her body and notice things on others. Especially when you want them to use the potty. Questions about said bodies are not a request for you to explain "relations" (I think that is what Hank Hill calls them). You don't have to freak out. Second, why would you freak out about that? After all, you did have to do it to get them (well most of you, though certainly all of you at least practiced). We don't want to give them hang-ups about their bodies or "relations", so make sure all appropriate boundaries are set in neutral terms. And the most important thing of all, you really don't have to talk about it much. The more you freak out, the more they freak out. Calm down, it's all natural. Answer the questions and move on.......I said move on...........you're still reading, I said move on.