Thoughtful Thursdays – Waxing Platitudes #1 – Church

God and I have a love/love relationship. He loves me and I am so grateful for that. However, the church and I have a love/annoyed relationship. See, I had to preface that with the fact that God and I are on very good terms most of the time. Well, He’s on good terms all the time, it’s just me that has to get my act together every once in a while.

The problem is that God has to leave the running of his church up to mortal, fallible people. Most of them are there just trying to do their best and run things the way they think God would want. Many of them even ask Him on a regular basis what they think He wants them to do.

The biggest problem is that we either lose our focus or focus too intently. The path is narrow and we often find ourselves walking down either side rather than right on it. We forget the greatest two commandments, Love God and Love your neighbor. We try to function as though we can see the whole situation, yet our understanding is so very limited.

I struggle from time to time finding spirituality in the church. It becomes another thing to do or they are always asking me to do more. I have two kids, two jobs and a blog. I really don’t need any more to do. But when you say no to something or express this idea, you are looked at like you have just lost your testimony and are heading straight to Outer Darkness.

When do I get to come to church on my own terms? When do I get to just be there communing with the divine and feel the genuine fellowship of my fellow saints without expectation? My family is my stewardship right now. There is no greater work than to attempt to show my wife and children Christ like love and compassion; to lead them the way that God leads us.

I have had many experiences that make me want to leave from time to time. I wonder how I can continue to put up with things. Then I remember that every time I have gotten to the point of leaving and I pray to God to help guide me, I’m brought back. The light opens up and I see the goodness and the potential that exists in the church.

It has been the place of my spiritual growth and journey. No, I don’t limit my spiritual exploration to correlated materials, but I let the Mormon brand of Christianity be the starting point for my relationship to God. I figure as long as I am led closer to God by continuing down that path, then I must be on the right one for me.

So for now, I’ll continue to say completely inappropriate things at church, like telling my Gospel Doctrine class how much I dislike the book, “Miracle of Forgiveness”. I will also put up with the looks and the groans when I say no, my home teaching wasn’t done because my family came first. It really doesn’t matter what the people of the church think, it only matters what God thinks. That is the truth that keeps me coming back.

Image Credit here - John Martin Borg 2002 - Adulterous Woman